then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
