last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize