you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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