shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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