yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
