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I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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