Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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