at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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