I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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