i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
love makes seman taste better
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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