oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
