make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
