non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize