singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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