She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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