Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
