"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
