We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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