his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
