He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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