Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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