I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
