You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
