Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
