I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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