Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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