you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
