so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
