honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
