Non-Jews are for practice
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
