as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
