My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize