is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
