people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
