I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
