I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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