just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
