when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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