If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
