Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
