Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
