i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
