i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
only you would photoshop your dick
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
