Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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