After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
