Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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