its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
