i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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