it was like his penis was on wheels.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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