You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
