i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
