Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
