found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
