Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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