how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
