I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
