we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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