its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize