WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
