I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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