Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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