help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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