The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
