Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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