Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize