I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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